There is no other way to title this post. For those that know me well, know that for the past several years I have been facing my "tanning demons". For those that didn't know that...here is a little catch-up. With a family history of skin cancer, both melanoma and basal cell, seeing the scars from my mom, grandma, and grandpa, I still thought for the longest time that it was perfectly ok to tan in tanning beds and lay out with oil on instead of SPF. Why? Well, duh....it made me feel pretty and I needed to be a BRONZE GODDESS!! What garbage! Now today, I am paying for it in a big way.
To date, this is my SIXTH skin cancer surgery and hopefully my last. All of mine have been basal cell carcinomas, which while not deadly, leave a constant reminder of my mistakes....Lets just say I have never had a scar heal well! The last two cancer spots have been in troublesome places where my dermatologist felt it was better for a MOHS surgeon and plastic surgeon to take care of the removal. I remember sitting with Waylen waiting for my fifth spot to be removed surrounded by 70+ year olds with half their noses and ears and I said..."That can NEVER be me....NEVER!" Well, I was wrong and a week ago I was sitting in that same office with my nose bandaged up just like the rest of them.
During my pregnancy with Wyatt I first noticed the spot on the side of my nose. People ask me all the time what they look like and all I can describe it as is a pearly, pink bump that sometime bleeds and gets really dry. I left it alone until after I delivered Wyatt and when I realized it wasn't going away I decided to show my dermatologist. She was almost positive it was another basal cell so we did a biopsy and she was right. The next step was to see the MOHs surgeon. I was told when I went in for the consult if he felt comfortable doing the procedure alone without the help of a plastic surgeon we would do the procedure that day. If not...on to consult with Dr. Lopez (my plastic surgeon) . As soon as he walked in, he said there was no way to know the extent of the damage and I would definitely need a plastic surgeon to repair it. BOOOOOO! I was not happy, but tried to make light of the situation and told Waylen I was going to have a nose job too so I could have a nose like him, Harlow and Wyatt! haha. Hoping to be reassured by Dr. Lopez that this would be an easy procedure, I was discouraged again. He was not happy with it and me at all. He just kept saying how difficult it would be because of the placement and not knowing how much it had spread. Plus, he hated having to do this to someone so young! FABULOUS!! So for the next three days I panicked and cried. Thursday was surgery day and I was just not ready!
But, just like every week, Thursday came, whether I was ready or not. During MOHs surgery, they take a small (conservative) piece of tissue out, bandage you up, and send you out into the waiting room while they look under a microscope to determine if they got it all and once they do then you move to plastics for the repair. While hoping for a one and done kind of day....I ended up having to have three rounds of cancer removal to clear all the borders. Tears rolled down my face each time I had to go back wondering how big the hole was. They said it was a good idea not to look which made it even worse. The plastic surgery part was easy for me because they put me under a twilight so I wasn't around for it. THANK THE LORD!! They grafted a piece of skin from behind my ear to cover the area on my nose and stitched me up. After about 30 minutes in recovery it was time to go home. I remember the whole way home just staring out the window trying not to cry. It was the worst I had ever felt about myself and I was so embarrassed for Waylen to even look at me. I broke down before we even got home. I was so discouraged and the emotional toll it had taken on me was apparent. For the next couple of days I didn't say much, cried a bunch and tried not looking in the mirror. Starting that next day, I began doing hyperbaric oxygen treatments which each last for two hours. They want me to do a series of ten treatments to help create blood flow so that the wound has the best chance of healing properly. I will have to take a picture before i finish the treatments, but its a big glass tube that they roll you in and seal off before they begin to pump 100% oxygen into it. The first ten minutes or so you feel a lot of pressure in your ears and they pop a lot. Once you adjust you can either watch a movie or take a nap. I do a little of both.
Today I went for my one week follow up and got my stitches out. He said the healing looks good so far, we just need to pray it continues and that we have the best cosmetic outcome possible. Yikes!!! I am half way through my oxygen treatments and hoping by the end of those we will see more improvement. Here are some pics of the progression......
Day of Surgery:
Day After Surgery:
One Week Post-Op:
I wanted to blog about this not only for me, but also for all of my friends. There is absolutely no excuse for tanning beds and walking outside without SPF on these days. They have come way too far with sunless tanners people!!! Don't be naive and think it will never happen to you, because more than likely it already has and just hasn't made its way to the surface where it is visible. I also wanted to document the steps I will be going through to make sure that this doesn't happen again. In 30 days, I will begin using a topical chemotherapy treatment on my face and chest that will go in and kill the cells that are precancerous before they turn into basal cell. It will not be fun as it is very harsh on the skin. I have googled A LOT of images and am prepared for the worst....I think. I will do whatever it takes to avoid having this happen again. So if you are interested in following me in this journey...stay tuned!! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!!! (pun intended) haha..... Now go put on some sunscreen!!!